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How do I learn to love myself?

Updated: Feb 3



Introduction

Self-love is not a destination but a lifelong journey. It's about accepting and cherishing yourself, flaws and all, and nurturing a positive relationship with the person you spend the most time with - which is you!


In this post, I'll explain various aspects of self-love, including mindfulness, mindset, improving self-esteem, discovering your strengths, seeking coaching, strategies for self-love, letting go of negativity, and the next steps in your journey to self-love.


So let's get started.


As with all things, the first place to start is mindfulness. Until we are aware of our thoughts and feelings, how can we know where the judgement lies?


Mindfulness: The Foundation of Self-Love

Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, without judgment.

It has become a huge topic that is often misrepresented and can seem overwhelming to start applying.

My advice would be to start small.

Begin by taking a few minutes each day to sit quietly, focus on your breath, and let go of worries about the past or future. By practicing mindfulness, you will become aware of your thoughts and emotions without judging them.

This leads to being able to observe them, accept them and let them go which in turn then makes space for the quieter often more impactful thoughts and feelings to rise up.


This is where we can begin to understand where our lack of self love stems from and what we can do to move forward. It's this process that then helps us to move away from living on autopilot which causes us to be triggered and react to being more aware and choosing how to respond to an something. It's this choice to respond that gives us control over how we live our lives and how much of our power we give to other people and allow them to define us.

Alongside adopting a mindfulness practice, we are going to need a


Mindset Shift: Embrace Positivity

We can start working on cultivating a growth mindset. To do that, we need to start believing in our ability to change and grow. we don't have to be the person we were anymore, we are not the the way people have moulded us, that is conditioning. We are a free willed spirit who can choose to challenge and change the thoughts that are holding us back.


Begin by identifying and then challenging negative self-talk and replace it with self-compassionate thoughts. Remember that making mistakes is part of being human, and they provide valuable learning experiences.When you become aware of a negative belief, ask yourself whose voice you associate with it.

Most of our negative thoughts come from other people's repeated opinions of us. Once identified, ask yourself how much of that thought you really believe to be true. 1% , 10% ,100%. Try rephrasing it from an absolute to a sometimes and see how that feels. For example. I'm clumsy (which is the absolute) can become, sometimes I drop or knock things over when I'm tired or in a hurry. This is now,no longer a limiting belief. This is now a statement of truth that you can choose to do something about and that is liberating.


Improving Self-Esteem: Celebrate Your Worth

Now that we have Identified and challenged the root causes of our low self-esteem ( see above) we can begin to move on.

Start by listing your accomplishments and positive qualities. Identify the people who are supportive and will encourage us.


Discover Your Strengths: Uncover Your Unique Gifts

Make a list of your strengths, talents, and passions. Embrace your uniqueness. There is only one of you and that is your superpower. You can then use your strengths to pursue activities that bring you joy and fulfillment and attract like minded people into your life.


Let Go: Release What No Longer Serves You

Identify the toxic relationships, habits, and beliefs that hinder your self-love journey. It's okay to let go of what doesn't align with your growth and happiness.


Seek Coaching and Support: Invest in Yourself

Consider seeking professional help, such as coaching, to work through deeper issues and develop self-love strategies tailored to your needs. A trained coach or can provide valuable insights and guidance on your journey.


Strategies for Self-Love: Practical Steps

  • Self-Care: Prioritise self-care activities that nourish your body and mind, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and relaxation.

  • Set Boundaries: Learn to say no when necessary and protect your emotional well-being.

  • Positive Affirmations: Repeat positive affirmations daily to reinforce self-love and counteract negative self-talk.

  • Gratitude: Practice gratitude by focusing on the things you appreciate about yourself and your life.

  • Forgiveness: Forgive yourself for past mistakes and let go of grudges. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.


Next Steps: Continual Growth

Self-love is an ongoing process. Keep exploring, learning, and growing. Embrace challenges. Learn to see them not as barriers to success but as opportunities for your personal growth. Be patient with yourself and understand that setbacks are a part of the journey.


Conclusion

Loving yourself is an act of self-compassion and an essential foundation for a happy and fulfilling life. By incorporating mindfulness, shifting your mindset, improving self-esteem, discovering your strengths, seeking coaching and support, implementing self-love strategies, letting go of negativity, and committing to continual growth, you can embark on a transformative journey towards loving yourself more deeply and authentically. Remember, you are deserving of love and kindness, the place to start is with the love you give yourself.


If you have found this article helpful , then please share it with the prople that you think would benefit from reading it.


If you would like to know how I can support your journey to self love through coaching then please get in touch here or via this email address.

cm@simplybe.org.uk

Take care.

Chris.



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