We are living in a society that teaches us to look for what we don't have and then tries to sell it to is promising that it is this thing that will make us feel fulfilled.
This is a lie. It is a very sophisticated and clever marketing system that ensures we are constantly consuming in order to feel happy and complete.I want to show you how to accept and release your pain.
The only way to feel happy and complete is to achieve it yourself.
If you are not happy in and of yourself, no amount of praise, recognition, or material goods will fill the hole inside you. You will just be miserable in a big house or nice car or with lots of money.
Oh don't get me wrong, we all love those things and it's wonderful to have them and it may even feel great for a while but before long, you will feel that something is lacking and strive for that external validation.
To be happy, you will have to go within and identify what you need to make you feel joyful and grateful and satisfied. This requires some work bit is actually less time consuming and exhausting than the current system.
To become happy, we need to feel secure and loved, firstly by ourselves and then if we are blessed by others. We need to become aware of what we need to be happy rather than what we want, and we need to learn to become happy and grateful for what we do have and understand that, that is enough. Anything else is the cherry on the cake.
It is becoming more accepted that when you are grateful, your brain chemistry changes, and you become more positive and happy. This, in turn, changes your energetic vibration ( and this is not woo woo magic. Ask your friendly physicist, and they will tell you that everything is energy vibrating and different frequencies)
It is also widely believed now that we attract to us anything with a similar frequency.
In essence what this means is that if you are sad and only see the negative in people or situations, then you will give off a lower vibration that attracts more of these negative people and situations into your life whereas, if you have a grateful outlook in life and look for the positives in people and situations, you will attract more of the same into your life.
For those of you that are interested in the natural laws, the law of attraction being the most well own one, then this is called conscious creating and is part of the manifesting process.
A useful exercise is to take the time to imagine that you can no longer live in your home, you don't have your car and gadgets, you can't see your family and friends, you don't have an income, you can't go shopping, you don't have anyone to compete with, you can't travel and you can't buy things.
What would be you priority in obtaining at it's most basic level and who would you choose to have with you. These are the things that you NEED to be happy and secure everything else is what you want.
This is a really useful exercise to help identify what is important to you, what your priorities in life are and how much importance you out on having things to feel good or to be accepted. It can also help us to identify what our limiting beliefs may be about ourselves and that gives us an opportunity to challenge and change them because until we do, we still have the potential to be unfulfilled.
Once we have identified what we need, we can work on making sure that we have those things in our life and this includes the opportunity to use the space we have created to look at our driving force and question why we felt we needed those things before This is how we learn to address the beliefs we have about ourselves that prevent us from being content with what we have.
We can then develop a gratitude practice around them and accept that if we were to have nothing else, we could live a happy and comfortable life.
We can of course still have dreams, goals and plans and they are what drive us forward on our journey through life but we don't have to be attached to achieving them. We will have identified that we are already happy, we can just see more ways to grow and learn, help other people and be kind and these are the actions that psychology has proven are what matter to us on our deepest level and are the largest contributors to our wellbeing.
The tools that we can use to help us to identify what we need and keep that simplified mindset can include:
Mindfulness in that we are aware of our thoughts so that we can prevent ourselves from getting caught up in external validation again.
Meditation to help us gain a deeper insight into who we truly are and how we feel we should be living
Journaling to help us express our thoughts and emotions, make sense of them and come up with ways to reduce the triggers that are causing them
And of course a gratitude practice to help us to remain focused on how much we already have, how blessed we are to have it and to keep our mindset and vibration positive and open to opportunity.
I really hope that you have found this episode interesting and helpful.
If you would like to know more or want to work with me on this then please get in touch