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How can I change my life and let other people manage theirs?

Updated: Feb 3

I study and read all the time because I want to empower myself to live better and that's enables me to support my clients, you to live better.

One of the simplest and yet most powerful concepts was described by Byron Katie in her book...

She talks about what causes us to suffer, nothing new there it's commonly documented that it is not the situation that causes our suffering but our thoughts about it.

But she put something into such and easy and understanding framework that can change your life and I want to share this with you.

Byron Katie talks about the fact that in her opinion, there are three types of business.

Your business, which relates to your thoughts, beliefs actions and emotions.

Their business which is their version of the same

And God's business which is everything else including but not limited to: war,disease,death,birth, natural disasters and the beauty of creation.

What is more valuable is that she then goes on to say that you are only unhappy or suffering when you are in someone else's business. Now this took me a moment but then a light bulb came on.

What she means is that to be happy we should only be in our business. How can we possibly know what someone else should be thinking or how they should be behaving? And yet we constantly think we know what's best for other people and get frustrated, angry, hurt or sad when they don't behave like we want them too.

How crazy is that?

The same thing applies to God's business and for God please insert whatever applies to your belief system. We think there shouldn't be war or famine, that people shouldn't die or that they die too soon but we are not all knowing, we cannot see the bigger picture and we are assigning good and bad values to things that we have no foresight over their value.

So you can see that minding your own business is the best way to grow and find peace. This is because when we are minding our business, we are working on controlling our impact on the world through our thoughts, beliefs, actions and behaviours. In controlling these, we can become more authentic, more compassionate and kind in our interactions and more enlightened in our thinking. This not only obviously improves our happiness and wellbeing but also helps to raise the vibration and wellbeing of those around us.

When we are interfering in other people's business we are putting our ego above their wellbeing and then we punish them when they don't thank us for it. The truth of the situation is that they are backing exactly the way they should until they choose to change it and that becomes the way they should behave. That's not to say that we can't offer advice and support but we need to let them find their own way or we risk disempowering them.

When we are in God's business,we are arguing with reality and we can never beat that. When we say they died too soon, how do we know. This may be the prefect time for them to pass because they have achieved what they came to do and are now ready to move on. It is our need for them that causes us pain, not their completion of their journey. If we love them, do we not want what is right and best for them?

We may disagree with war and global pandemics but the reality is that they exist. There are many people who need to learn from these atrocities and until they do, history will keep repeating itself until mankind wipes itself out. It is more beneficial for us to find ways to educate or raise the vibration of people who are entrenched in their need for power so that they no longer make the ego led decisions that lead to these events.

So how do we mind our own business?

1. Be mindful. By becoming aware of our thoughts and actions and challenging our beliefs , we can see when we are stepping our of our business and into someone else's and stop ourselves.

2.Look at the people and situations that we are dealing with honestly and accept them for whatever there are without imposing our will or being frustrated because they're not how we think they should be.

3. Accept reality as what it is. An opportunity for us to learn a new skill or insight that will serve us well in the future. This may not be pleasant, in fact it may be the most horrendous thing you have ever experienced but no matter what your heart and mind may be telling you about the rightness or wrongness of this experience, the fact remains that you are having it anyway and so it's more beneficial to see how you can accept it, learn from it and move on.

4. When you become aware of something you feel strongly about, question where your belief comes from and if it's authentic to you, investigate what you can do to resolve or support the issue in a kind and compassionate, non violent manner.

5. Accept that the only time you should be telling someone else what to think, believe or do is when you have no faults, no ego and are completely aware of every thought that you are having and know what the bigger plan has in store.

If you would like to explore this topic further through Coaching, then please get in touch.

Take care.

Chris. X

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