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Changing your mindset



The question I am asked the most is "How do I change my mindset?"

Firstly, you need to understand what the term mindset means. It's generally recognised to be a set of assumptions, beliefs and behaviours that shape how you see the world.

So when you are talking about a mindset shift or changing a mindset, you are talking about recognising and addressing those assumptions, beliefs and behaviours that are not making you happy or helping you to live a calm and content life.

To change your mindset you will need to do the following:

1.Take responsibility.

You have grown up seeing your environment and yourself as separate entities in which things happen to you, the helpless participant. You think that a person made you happy or sad or that having a big house will make you feel successful or having children will make you complete. This is not so. The only person that can make you feel any of those things is you. There are no such things as good and bad experiences, it is the way you interpret them through the conditioning and experiences that you have had that leads you to assign a good or bad value to them. This is the same when dealing with people. They are not stressing you out or making you angry or jealous. They are just being themselves, it is your belief of how they should behave towards you that is causing your pain. So to change your mindset, you first need to take responsibility for it.

2. Become aware of what you are thinking, the assumptions you are making and the way you are reacting to people and situations.

This is also known as mindfulness/present moment awareness or living in the moment. When you become aware, you are no longer operating on autopilot responding your triggers. (Triggers are anything that make you remember a past experience. Smells, music, phrases etc) Instead you can begin to question what you are thinking and feeling and choose to respond in a compassionate and proactive manner.

This sounds like a time consuming process but actually the brain does this with lightening speed.

3. Work out what you are hoping to achieve from your life/job/ present situation so that you can identify what you are currently doing that is not supporting this.

For example, if you want to be a confident, empowered women but actually believe that women should be subservient, then this would be a limiting belief that could be addressed.

4.Start to look for the positives in life.

You are living in a deficit culture where what you don't have or don't have what you think you should have is what you are taught to focus on and this can leave you feeling unfulfilled.

The marketing department of just about every company would have you believe that if you had the lovely shiny new thing that they are selling, then you would be happy and complete So instead of looking for what you do have and being pleased for it, you can only see what you don't have and all the associated beliefs that go with that .

Through the law of attraction, what you focus on you attract and so you are actually welcoming more negatively in to your life .This can result in depression or anxiety, lack of confidence and despondency. When you focus on positivity, you raise your own vibration which keeps you well and helps to develop your resilience as you can see each situation as an opportunity to learn and grow and move from a this always happens to me mindset to a how can I learn and grow mindset which then positively effects every area of your life.

5. Start with small consistent changes to your routines. Scientists say that takes between 21 and 42 days to change a mindset and that the actions/thoughts have to be repeated daily for the change to take effect.

Use affirmations, set alarms on your phone to remind you to check in with what you are thinking or journal to help you to stay focused. Gratitude, meditation, vision boards, coaching books and podcasts can all be useful tools in helping you to change your mindset and thrive. The key to success is to start small but you must start.

Einstein said that the definition of madness was to do the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome.

If you would like to know more or start your coaching journey with me then please get in touch. Speak soon.

Chris. X

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